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From Umbria to Canada as Marco’s father //

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By Maria Sol Giordini

A house in the countryside, a cake and Christmas tree on the table, games everywhere Scattered laughing child. Umbria24 was welcomed into the home of Massimiliano and Ciro, the father of a small child we call Marco, who was born on the pregnancy route to others or by a surrogate mother abroad, which is one of the most divisive themes of our day. There are those who say surrogacy, but one word that should be rejected for a number of reasons: in the case of Massimiliano and Ciro this technique took place in Canada, so women who give birth to others do it. In good condition, virtue, i.e., free, and only on the basis of the results of clinical and psychological tests, as well as careful economic and patriarchal verification. But there are several countries that have legalized pregnancy for others, including Portugal, which showed the green flag for same-sex couples a month ago. And in Italy? There are politicians here, including women like Georgia Meloni and Mara Corfagna who want to introduce the “global crime” of surrogacy, as well as interfering in the laws of other states, but there are also associations in Italy (Rainbow families, Luca Coscioni, Certi Rights and others) who have been fighting for years for legislation to make it possible in our country Are coming. In the midst of this often heated debate, families who have traveled abroad have to face bureaucracy, distrust, and often ignorance when returning to Italy.

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To become a father from Umbria to Canada One of these families is the family of fathers Ciro and Massimiliano, who live with their son Marco in the province of Perugia. There are those who call them the “unorthodox family” and they like to call themselves the “rainbow”, but is there really a tradition or rule when it comes to feelings? To get the family they loved so much, with a child, they had to move abroad, precisely to Canada. A few years have passed since the journey, until the baby is born, fears, uncertainties, disappointments, worries for the future, but joy, smiles, new friendships, will always be in the heart. After all, he, the little one.Marco, now over a year old, has been crawling around the Christmas tree. “Shortly after we met we talked about this choice, we both wanted to be a father and enlarge the family because ours was already a family of two. We said to ourselves: we need to talk seriously about it, we decided after a conflict. Communication with friends, set everything in motion, it was 2016.

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A choice that will change your life The path that Massimiliano and Ciro face is life-changing: “Marco’s birth was a great emotion, accompanied by fear that every parent could not, but the effort was rewarded. From this joy, our son». To those who want to associate themselves with Nazism as they do, Massimiliano and Chiro respond: “They do not know what they are talking about. “.

Parents for same-sex couples Maternal and paternal desire, in fact, cannot be explained by intuition: for some it is strong, for some it is not for themselves, for others it is not yet and they do not want to be parents, but in anything it should be beyond question, freedom of choice. However, for homosexual couples living in Italy, it can be complicated if it is not possible to pursue this. In fact, under Act 184 of 1983, same-sex couples could not apply for adoption, and under Act 40 of 2004, medical-assisted fertilization techniques could not be resorted to, i.e. heterologous fertilization, which is completely legal in Italy. Couples. What are the possibilities for these people? Fly abroad.

Italy turns the other way While Italy still does not want to acknowledge the existence of these families or pretend to leave, even other countries closest to us have done so. For lesbian couples, fly to nearby Spain to receive a comet donation, but also to countries such as Denmark, Germany, France, Belgium, Holland, Austria, Greece, Finland, Sweden and Great Britain, i.e. Italy and Eastern Europe. Men, on the other hand, have to resort to pregnancy for others in addition to egg donation, which is more complicated. The countries that offer the highest guarantees to all parties involved are certainly the United States and Canada, but there are many other countries that have legalized pregnancy for others.

Pregnancy for others: How it works For others, pregnancy, or surrogacy, is a medical technique in which a woman becomes pregnant with a couple (or even singles in some states) who cannot cope with her in any way. To enroll these women as ‘pregnant’, they must pass the most rigorous medical and psychological tests, have a home of their own, not have enough salary and poverty and be fully aware of the path. Canadian law is very strict and does not allow poor women with health problems or psychological problems to enter the clinics program. The same is true for future parents: they too must face psychological pathways and clinical trials. In addition, in Canada, in countries such as Greece, Portugal and the United Kingdom, it is legal to conceive others in benevolent form only. That is, the pregnant woman does not receive money for the gesture she makes, otherwise she will be reimbursed for expenses, i.e. medical expenses and so on. Of course, this is still an expensive route because if it is true that the pregnant woman does it almost for free, it will include higher costs for clinics, lawyers, air travel and short or long stays. But Ciro and Massimiliano are eager to say that this is not the path to the rich: “We are a family like many, we do not have large sums, we had to take out a mortgage and ask our family for help, because when you have this strong desire, there is a way to find it.

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“Surrocessor” While the existence of selfless women like Ciro and Massimiliano who met these women in person may seem impossible, they also confirm the presence of many: “We are in constant contact with the pregnant woman, we hear each other every day, we video call each other every two weeks, we have a WhatsApp group called Family We always exchange tips.In Canada – tell two dads at umbria24 – we went to dinner with several “surrosister”, He wants to call himself that. “It’s something you give us to keep for you, and we’ll give it back to you,” they say. It’s a beautiful gesture of love – commented by Ciro and Massimiliano – and there are many more, always very available. A rare virtue, it may be hard to understand, but the testimonies of two Umbrian fathers and news reports, including the disappearance of Nadia Tofa, who interviewed these women in person, make us understand that gift culture really exists. It does not disappear completely, money does not buy everything.

Gift culture Culture Precisely, perhaps it is a cultural question that Italy still needs to get used to? Massimiliano and Siro always tell us about this, having already noticed the enormous differences between the two return flights: “Only smiles and congratulations on the first flight from Toronto to Amsterdam. On the other hand – they continue – we are also noticed in our small provincial town, during an aperitif, not with the smile that occurs when looking at a small child, but there were women who stared at us perseveringly. If he had to do that, he would practice answering many questions.

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Marco has no security As Massimiliano and Ciro tell us தொடங்கியது Once upon a time in Italy a struggle began with bureaucracy and ignorance, the problem in the INPS for parental leave of two fathers, the problems in the municipality to explain why Marco had two surnames. It was not easy, but we expected it. Yes, because if a child is born in a country where it is legal to conceive someone else on a birth certificate, those who strongly desire it will be parents, and above all they will take care of it for a lifetime. It was a logical choice and, instead, it was not so for the Italian government. Marco returned to Italy, where only one father, known as the father of biology, was able to register and the other had to apply for adoption. A complete Italian nonsense against the decisions of the ECHR (European Court of Human Rights), which has always ruled in favor of recognizing both parents on the birth certificate for the benefit of the child, which is paramount. Several judgments handed down by the Supreme Court have proved the right of fathers to spouses and forced mayors to register foreign birth certificates.

Regulates GPA in Italy Meanwhile, Marco thanks Ciro and Massimiliano, and children like him will be born. Ciro and Massimiliano are a reference point for many who want to start because the risk, especially in poor countries, is that some women are at risk of being forced into surrogacy due to poverty, but in Canada this is certainly not the case. This is why the two Umbrian fathers always advise you to be well-informed before taking any action; This is why the Luca Cocioni Association, along with Rainbow families, has filed a proposal to regulate pregnancy for others in solidarity in Italy, asking for clear laws on certain rights and others. A law always protects more than a ban. Pregnancy is a particularly complicated matter for others, such as abortion and divorce, but for thirty years or more. With laws protecting all parties, if well-organized, it gives birth to thousands of children each year, and for a country like Italy with such a severe population decline, it seems timeless to bar anyone from such possibilities. To those who think or shout that “they will never do it”, Emma Bonino, the radical leader who legalized abortion, responds: “I will not do it, then you should not do it.”

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